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Ang Kahapon.

They say deaths make you realize how valuable life is and makes you want to live it more. But this one made me angry at the world on how cruelly and harshly it cuts people you love off the planet with no explanation whatsoever.

The first time I saw Alexis was when I was to interview him in Coffee Bean in Morato for a paper for my feature writing class. We needed to do a piece on anyone interesting and Quark suggested him. I was nervous as hell, given the credentials Quark provided me. During the interview however, he would not even let me pay for his drink. He turned out to be one of the least intimidating powerful people I've met. He was such a gentleman; soft-spoken, yet everything he said meant so much and you could see the passion in his eyes with every word.

The last time I saw him was a couple of months ago, when I was quietly reading a book in the open area outside Starbucks ABS-CBN. Some guy sat in front of me and said my name. I looked up and saw him. He said "I didn't recognize you because of your shades! You look like an artista! What are you reading?" I grin and show him Rant. We talked for awhile until he said he had to go back in Starbucks because Nika was there. He giddily told me she has moved here already and is living with him. Someone has told me that before but I said something along the lines of "Woah, big step. It must be looove."

Cut to now when that big move rooted off love for cinema and each other has resulted into a stupid criminal act. The lover of crime that I am could not fathom something as gruesome as this happening to people I know. When I found out that damned morning, my grandmother's 80th birthday, I had to endure a morning of faking smiles and being kind to all these grandparents still alive, some of them kicking. I went back to the room my mom and I shared in the hotel and I cried to her for the first time. She actually remembered Alexis since I showed her his recent appearance with Caparas on that ANC show. We were both ranting about Caparas and she referred to Alexis as "Yung gwapo."

As most of us have done, I've looked through the internet for every source of writing or information and tribute on him. I read my own LiveJournal though and found a locked entry that crushed my heart. It was my very very personal piece on my so-called alcoholism back in senior year college. I posted it 4:53am and he was the first to comment.

_fiction_ wrote:
Mar. 23rd, 2006 04:55 am (local)
tara, sama ka bukas, inom tayo

adiohead wrote:
Mar. 23rd, 2006 05:03 am (local)
oh just when i was about to lock the comments! haha.
i know you're kidding but really don't know what to say so i won't say anything after this.

_fiction_ wrote:
Mar. 23rd, 2006 05:11 am (local)
oh, no we have that judging/jury deliberation thing tomorrow with ed cabagnot and jason jacobo in manila around 8. bernice is going. come!

adiohead wrote:
Mar. 23rd, 2006 05:14 am (local)
oh. that's tomorrow? haha. ackkk, in manila?! in ccp? i'll see.. manila eh!

pinainom kami dati ni sir ed ng lambanog inside his office. =)

_fiction_ wrote:
Mar. 23rd, 2006 11:27 am (local)
pinainom kayo ni ser ed ng lambanog sa office? sino kayo? delikado yun ah! ...

lol. not to take pleasure in your sorrow, but your entry was very well written and your honesty moving. you have a nice brother. you can do it adiohead! alcohol not important. may tiwala ako sayo. :)

adiohead wrote:
Mar. 23rd, 2006 11:14 pm (local)
yeah he did. it was kinda weird drinking inside a ccp office... haha, it was me and two other lfc guys, bono and jonats.

wow.. if that's you taking pleasure in my sorrow then i wouldn't mind at all! =) haha, thanks thanks. such flattering words to hear from a person like you!

He took pleasure in my sorrow by saying my very private piece filled with college angst was well-written. (I have been having a hard time writing again but after reading that again that I think I'd get back to it. ) I’m taking pleasure in the legacy that he has left behind, in the goodness that he has imparted to anyone who’s ever met him, and in the way that he has changed a lot of our lives even without knowing him so much. I hope justice will be served.


( 2 drifters off to see the world. — Do you wish to see the world? )
Apr. 8th, 2011 09:36 pm (UTC)
For some reason, I can’t see all of this content, stuff keeps hiding? Are you taking advantage of java?

Oct. 31st, 2011 06:29 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the information. I think that you should wash your face at least 3 to 4 times a day. You’ll be surprised how much better your face will look.

( 2 drifters off to see the world. — Do you wish to see the world? )